violating husband-wife boundaries...

so, this weekend I finally went where I hadn't gone before in the ever evolving husband-wife boundary issue. Inspired by some of my male friends' stories, how their wives routinely would throw out questionable (clothing) items of theirs without asking and them apparently accepting this fact of wife-control without any further arguments, I decided it was time to move to this deeper level of intimacy or whatever this kind of behavior could be labeled.
Weeks passed, as I over and over tried to throw out the one item of Dario's I had my eyes on for disposal for years. These old, strangely bleach-stained jeans of his, which I had nicknamed "sperm-pants" due to the nature of the stain's shape and appearance.
Knowing, however, that Dario loved these jeans I found myself unable to overstep this boundary. I just couldn't throw something out that wasn't mine.

One day, I came home as Dario was cleaning up a bit (a rare sight). He had garbage bags set up into which he had dumped large amounts of papers. Glancing into the bags (ok. rummaging suspiciously through them) I found a couple of my things which he had tossed out without asking. I was upset but my short-term memory is too bad to remember these little things and therefore makes it impossible for me to hold a grudge. I probably would if I would only remember.
Anyway, so I told him how this upset me.
"Hey, why are you throwing out my stuff?? I don't throw out yours without asking! That's just not right," I complained.
- "Ahr, I don't care...we have so much sh*t in the house. You can throw my crap out, too. If I won't notice, I don't care," he replied dismissively.
This permission must have registered somewhere in my leaking brain, for about a week ago I took my first step in throwing out Dario-accumulated-garbage WITHOUT asking him (->if I ask him, he always has plans for whatever is in discussion).
It was a crib-rail he had dragged in from the garbage three weeks earlier and which had ever since been standing next to the main entry. Ugly but apparently with potential. He wanted to turn it into a picture holder. Never mind the fact that he needed costum glass plates made and probably would have to saw off one end to make the thing look even.
Dario, I told him when he first brought it in, when are you going to undertake this project? You don't even have time to put up the pictures we have ready-made frames for. I waited a year for you to put up the curtains in Maia's room until finally Rosa did it. I just don't see this happening."
"Don't worry. Everything is planned," he updated me a few days ago not having noticed that I had thrown the cribrail out a week before. I didn't say anything; just felt really guilty, for I had forgotten (thanks to my brain-leakage) that at some point..not too long ago...he had given me permission for such action.
Anyway, yesterday he noticed the thing was gone and I finally had to admit that I threw it out.
He was upset and threatened to start throwing out all of my sh*t, too.
After feeling bad and guilty for about a day, trying to figure out why I would do such a horrible thing and this so isn't like me, I fortunately finally remembered his oral permission and held him to it. Of course, he kept on arguing.
Dude, I pleaded, I'm scarred, ok. I've seen you drag in carburators and other engine parts, leaving them on my foyer table for weeks. Heck, once you spent 800 bucks on an engine laying in someone's basement just because you thought it was a good deal. Never mind the fact that you didn't have a matching car, a way to move the engine from it's location, and no budget to be spending 800 bucks.
- I don't care... I'm gonna start throwing out aaaall your sh*t, he said as if I had said nothing of sense.
At this point of the conversation I just gave up.
All I know is that I still have plenty of things in my house that have no place anywhere but .. oh, so much potential to come into functionality ONE day.