Friday, October 10, 2014

f**k it ... here you go ..

alright .. i have decided to connect my blogs. .. i guess, since i don't work in an office environment anymore, i don't really feel as exposed anymore. of course, i'm still exposed in a way - despite the semi-anonymity - but it's not as bad as when you run into people you barely know at work and they know _everything_ about you, including all unfiltered, fleeting most inner thoughts.

here you go. this is where i moved to back in 2005 and now have begun reblogging on:

Friday, September 02, 2005

my last blog entry

I knew it; I shouldn't have shared my blog with people I know, for I feel inhibited writing about them. It's just indiscreet. Specially since some of the people who read this blog know the people I would be talking about. So, I leave it at this.

In the past week I have been accused of spoiling my child rotten (and I can't vent over this accusation on my blog, for it is being read by said person), I've been accused of sleeping with my friend's husband (WHAT??!! - we need to talk, girl...I'm deeply insulted.), someone I consider a very dear friend was commited to the hospital because he didn't sleep or eat for about 6 days or so (stress-related) and then became paranoid, thinking everyone is out to get him. This was horrible. I felt totally powerless in extending my help.
However, I can't write about any of this in detail, for I don't want to be indiscreet.

So, I think I am moving on and will open a new blog somewhere where nobody knows me (and the only people I will actually share it with will be some of my close friends in Austria - i.e. across the ocean ... no foreseeable discretion dilemmas.)

so long m'dear readers.
thanks for reading. and feel free to browse the blog for previous entries. they're rather time-less anyway. I kinda always tried to make each entry stand on its own.
If you want to see where I'm at you can look at my profile.
So, as a last entry I am posting this e-mail from my friend on the situation in New Orleans.

Hello everyone,

Well, here we are again with another disaster situation. I am here in Alabama watching the horrific toll that Katrina has taken on the Gulf coast. If this were a disaster movie, the plot would focus not on the East coast being decimated by some kind of rogue tidal wave, or the West coast being taken out by an earthquake that causes the entire state of California to drop into the Pacific, but instead the third coast of the US (that being the Gulf coast) being destroyed by a hurricane and a great American city being wiped out by flooding.

This is the United States of America and we have never had to deal with a refugee evacuation/shelter scenario before of hundreds of thousands of people. How is it that reporters from CNN, MSN and probably the foreign press are able to get to victims, when the relief agencies that should be doing that have not as yet done so? How is it that people are dying as I write this because they have had no food or water in days or they have not had adequate ventilation? How are corpses being placed in stairwells in hospitals becuase there is no place to put them? Why is it that the images of vicitms are nearly all black and elderly folk? Why is it still going to take till Monday for the military ships with supplies get to the gulf? Why was the priority shifted from evacuating people from New Orleans to taking care of the looters? WHERE ARE THE LOOTERS GOING WITH THE LOOT? Really!!!! People are despearate. If food, water and supplies are being what. I would probably do the same to save my family. No one is going to airlift them with a plasma tv....and if a person chooses to hold onto the plasma tv over being rescued...well they either choose life or not.

I do not know if I will be able to get back home easily. Gas prices in Atlanta are now $5 per gallon...and I hear that the tank needs to get filled up now for there is no guarantee the there will be any gas available in the next few days.

I hear that New Orleans knew that the levee system was in need of repair two years ago...apparently it was reported in the local papers there that funding from the federal gov't had been approved, unfortunately, the federal aid got re-routed to Iraq...for I guess a more important security issue. I can not confirm what was reported in the local papers...but wait till I email CNN to look into substantiating that rumor. How dare the director of FEMA imply that people chose to stay because they were stubborn. Yes, there was a mandatory evacuation order that he regrets not everybody followed and that he is not one to judge...but he did not understand why people were still there. Hello poverty!!! Most poor people can not drive to safe places and put themselves up into hotels till the storm passes.

Again and again I keep hearing that one of the biggest obstacles to coordinating rescue and relief is communication lines being non-existent. How can that be? 9/11 showed how important communication lines are. How can that be an issue again?

Any way...there are people dying right now....they are not in a third world country...they are here in the "greatest " country in the world. This is more fuel for my doom amd gloom scenarios that fire me up into working in the public health/disaster arena. I still can not sign up to help (they are now begging for medical personnel from other states) physically yet. My first responsibility are my sons. BUT...I can again give monetarily.

Till we meet again...God bless us all.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

mama goes clubbing

so I went out to the Supper Club the other night..with Rosa, my very good friend Nadine and two of her girlfriends. I have been to all black clubs before(in fact, that's usually my kind of thing) but I think this was the first time that I was the only white girl in the place. Try not to be self-conscious about that. In addition to me paling in the shadow of my girlfriends I wasn't exactly dressed too stylishly. While everyone around me seemed to be wearing glittery shirts, jewelry and pumps, I couldn't find anything else in my closet than a combination of clothes which made me look like I'm heading to the beach and didn't want to mess up the good skirt. Good thing I started drinking, so this wasn't anything one drink couldn't fix (for those of you who don't know me...I never ever drank any alcohol until about a year ago). One diluted Pineapple Malibu, a couple of anonymous gropings later and I felt much better about myself. I remember the days when I used to swing at anyone who even tried to touch me without permission. After 10 years with the same man these days are over. ;) Now, someone touches me and I'm like "mhm...look I've been touched by ANOTHER man! :D." You go for the ass or the boobs (which really doesn't happen) I still will pop you in the eye, of course, but I've become much more lenient. After all, it looks like that's all I'm gonna get...since I find myself unable to cheat. But let's see...there is always room for growth. ;)

So, after a while I loosened up and started shakin' that booty (i.e. danced some..or lots).
When I finally took a break and sat down on the stairs around the dance floor, some guy holds his blackberry in front of me.
I: "what?"
he: "your number is missing."
I: "ah..of course. ..and what is your name?"
he: "Tony."
I: "Tony, there are two reasons I can't put my number in your phone.
1.) You are wayy too young for me. You are like a baby-boy."
he: "I'm 30 years old."
I: "no, you're not!"
he: "yes, I am"
I:"no, you're not."
he: "yes, I am."
I: "lemme see some i.d."
He pulls out his i.d. and it turns out he really is 30 years old. It also turns out that his name isn't Tony, it's Bruce.
I: "ehm,...Tony....if you are giving me your id you should probably try to remember that this will reveal the fact that you're lying about your name. Not a good way to start out."
he: "I was gonna give you my real name, if we would have started talking over the phone."
I: "if you're gonna pick a false name, at least pick something less corny. Tony....that's a bad player's name."
he: "...really? ...then.... Tyrone maybe?"
I:"ehww... no. worse. ...maybe something like Troy. That's a cool name."
he: (pondering) "Troy. the movie."
I: "...ya ...the movie... (sigh)"
he: "so, can I have your number."
I: "no. and here goes reason number 2 (I should have probably prioritized differently;) : I'm married."
he: (pause) "I'm married, too."
I: "And you're rappin' to me? I should slap you upside down the head on behalf of your wife."
he: "hey, you're rappin' back."
I: (thinking: I think, I am.) saying: "no, I'm just responding to you as not to be rude."
he: "mhmm........ so can I have your number.... we could just be friends."
I: "yeah, right. ...thanks, but I have enough friends. And I'm sure your wife wouldn't appreciate me very much."
he: "I'm not really married. I just switched my ring over to this finger."
I: "I didn't want to say anything...but your ring looks like a pimp's ring...all flashy like that."
he: "ok, I'm going to try one more time...cuz I really enjoy talking to you. can I please have your number."
I: "ehm, no. ...besides our relationship already lacks in trust big time ;) ."
he: (sighs)
to which I gave him a big smile good-bye and made my way back to the dancefloor.

Unfortunately, the DJs of the night were quite annoying. They just couldn't shut up. Not a single song did they let play without them interrupting every 5 seconds (and I am NOT exxagerating here). As the night went on, they became more and more daring and at the end they were just playing songs like "lick that p*ssy, lick that cr*ck" ...and telling guys to shout out if any women "ever did some stupid sh*t" to them and "you just wanted to beat her up" to which they then played some song which had a chorus going something like this "f*ck that trick. f*ck that trick".
I was in shock that women were still dancing to this completely disrespectful sh*t. I mean, I like rap and hiphop, so I obviously can take a fair share of women-bashing, but there are some limits, no? At one point, I just can't take it with humour anymore. Were is your self-respect, ladies?
Speaking of which, ... what is happening to the FCC regulations? Not that I am a supporter but it's all kind of weird. This morning I'm driving in to work, my car-radio tuned to 105.1 (Rap, HipHop, R&B), and a commercial for some event comes on that ends with the sentence: "Get your a** over there ni**er" (hmm, how do I bleep out the word 'nigger'...shit, now I wrote it down...I just hate that word...and I'm not even black.... so I'm thinking...if I -- non-black, maybe still a bit old-fashioned -- take offense in this commercial, then what about every black person my age or older? ...well, I'm gonna ask some of my friends what they think...I'm curious.)

Thursday, August 18, 2005

undercover come-on

so, I 'm walking the dog and this car pulls over next to me. some guy trying to talk to me sort of cruises at my speed of walking.
guy: can I just tell you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
me: (internal hysterical laugh about stupid come-on line) ...- looking at him with a frown
guy: (probably sensing my discomfort of being hit on from someone inside a car) don't worry...I am a police-man...
me: is this your idea of under-cover work? You disclose your identity to talk to a woman?
guy: can I ask you if I could give you my number?
me: thanks, but no thanks. I'm married. (to which he just bowed his head, blabbered something into his walkie-talkie and sped off).

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

is my writing that bad?

so, I'm writing a mail from my g-mail account...and you know how google has those ads that show up on the side with information pertaining to what you're writing?
So, today I look over this is what I got:

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I'm insulted. By an automated ad.
(technically, I should be saying "I've been insulted." maybe I need the damn grammar check tool after all).

Monday, August 15, 2005

I love daddy more

good thing I am not taking this too seriously, yet...or maybe I'm just in denial but this morning Maia woke up, climbed on top of her father and said: Daddy I love you soooo much.
Still half-asleep I tapped her on the shoulder: Excuse me, ...and how about mommy? Do you love mommy, too?
Yes, she said, but I love daddy more.
ouch. After picking up the pieces of my broken heart (just kidding), I asked and why is it that you love daddy more?
Because Daddy makes me all these nice things and you never cook anything, she responded.
I do, too, I said, I cook for you. I make spaghetti and egg-omelette, and turkey & rice, and ...macaroni and cheese... Just not lately.
I want macaroni and cheese for breakfast, she said.
I'm not making mac and cheese now. It's too early, I said.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

my 3-year-old's idea of a perfect moment

My 3-year old is turning into an indoor child and I can't handle it. More than once did she now tell me she doesn't want to go outside. In the morning she sounds like her dad when she tells me to close the curtains because the sun is bothering her. But the moment I realized she is becoming a city kid snuck up on me yesterday at the end of her bedtime routine. Her latest excuse for getting up again after the lights have been turned off is that she is scared. Sometimes she is honest and you just hear a loud sigh and her groaning out of the darkness of her room "aarghhh. ....Mooom!...sleeping is boooring!"
Anyway, so yesterday while tucking her into bed I tried to get ahead of her I'm-scared-excuse and told her to close her eyes and imagine something beautiful.
me: imagine a beautiful thing. what's something really beautiful for you?
maia: (thinks) ... "TV," she finally says smiling happily, "and milk."
me: (country girl in shock) TV??!!
maia: yes, ...TV with milk...and pancakes on top of the TV (to make it even more better).
me: we gotta get you outside more often.
maia: I don't wanna go outside.
me: sigh. (with inner turmoil)

I am from Austria. I basically spent my entire youth outdoors. My favorite place were the woods. I climbed everything - climbable or not. I was dirty most of the time and I think I wore a dress once. ... Rosa keeps on asking me what's so bad about staying inside. ...I can't say. It's a life-style. ...And I truly believe children should be outside everyday.