asthma??

today wasn't a good day...or at least so far.
first of all, I didn't get much sleep for the 4th night in a row. Nayla caught a cold that once again has become so bad that she's begun weezing, and that all comes in addition to the constant lamenting about her errupting teeth. So, first thing this morning I took her to the pediatrician who once again told me that she won't call this asthma, yet, but then prescribed an asthma medicine and sent me home with an inhaler (or actually, a nebulizer). After I sat with little crying Nayla for twenty minutes in front of the pediatrician office's nebulizer, trying to get her to inhale as much of the medicated steam as possible, I was pretty worked up. The fact that every parent walking by inquired about her condition with empathy in their eyes, didn't exactly help. Unfortunately, I had left my cell-phone at home and I couldn't discuss my anxiety about the word "Asthma" with anyone. I surpressed any kind of emotional outbreaks and carried on as if nothing phased me.
When I got home, I listened to my accumulated voicemails and decided to return my boss' message first. Bad idea. I completely flipped. I cursed around like a hoochie-mama from the street, got loud, and finally ended it with breaking out in tears. I was so embarrassed. Never, ..I mean, NEVER has something like this happened to me.
I am usually way too professional and detached when it comes to business. In other words, business is business. However, this wasn't about the incompetent idiots from the Moving Office who I was bitching to my boss about, this was about Nayla and the fact that I hadn't talked to anyone about this, yet.
I apologized several times, told him not to pay me any mind, and to rest assured that I am not crying about this stupid job story.
I'm an idiot but really ... I don't care about anything at the moment, anyway. I care about Nayla and the fact that I'm going to have to give her steroids and some other crap when she is not even a year old.
The doctor says there are no side-effects to these meds....but I never trust blindly. Have to investigate myself (...Pulmicort Resp. and XOpenex).