no time for spirituality

how does one find time for spirituality when one doesn't even find time to eat? how does one find spirituality when one can't really find a place in organized religion (i.e. spirituality) - personally this refers to my dilemma of having been brought up islamic in a country with a population construed of 98% catholics. Can't do the Catholic thing, can't do the Christian thing, period, for do not believe in Jesus being son of God...or trinity and such...thus -> problem being Christian (i.e. commit to going to church every Sunday for an hour or two). Can't do the islamic thing, for have no community I fit in (community -> very important when practicing any kind of religion). Can't do the Bhudda thing, for cannot suddenly change Gods altogether. Darn faith thing all drilled in my mind, so I had to take religion out of the equation altogether. But really, the equation that brought me to my agnostic standpoint is much more complicated than that.
Doesn't matter. Point is that I am having a huge void of spirituality and sense of balance in my life. If one doesn't have religion one at least needs nature, I believe. Nature is a very powerful thing to make us feel closer to God. So, one thing I haven't lost is my believe in God, although I think maybe he might be losing his belief in me...
After all, I'm not giving him/her much to work with lately. Sometimes I'm so out of touch (i.e. take everything in my life for granted) I forget what this is all about. Not that I know what the meaning of life is...... but .... well, one thing I know and that is....we're supposed to live. Live a life. Have a life. Make a good one out of it. And with good, I don't mean get oneself hooked up with all kinds of material shit but good in the sense of ...happiness...generosity...kindness etc.....
Then again, I look at the general human (with all his greed, basic instincts, and need to hate and kill and whatnot ...<-is that a word?) and I wonder,... maybe we're just supposed to live and that's it. That can't be it. It just can't.
Ohmygosh, I just wanted to figure out where to find spirituality in the daily mess that is my life right now and here I go again,.... beginning to philosophize about the question whether mankind is good or evil. This is not blog-material, sis... too complex ...

Anyway, I know where I can get spirituality from ... it is nature. Unfortunately, I haven't sat on a rock and looked at the sky in years so I'm pretty much shot there.
Let's see...what else. I've tried a couple of books. Problem is they have to be pragmatic enough for me to accept them as serious reading material (and that's hard to find or evaluate from cover-judging). Can't do that whole new-age kinda crap.
Last good book I bought in that genre... Letters to a Spiritual Seeker by Henry David Thoureau.
Note how I wrote "bought".... as opposed to "read". One would need time to read as much as one would need time to sit on a darn rock. So I might as well just give up or make some serious time to fill this void. HA, but how?
Not possible. Just not possible. I barely get to sit down to write this blog. So many things I would have liked to jot down, didn't have the time, and then forgot about... it's sad.

oh, well. gotta go.
10,000 things to do.
and it's 11:30pm...
sigh.