bitching just to bitch

so I've been sucked into Dario's house-hunting fever for a few weeks and only recently came back to my senses. what is it with me? this man ...or this relationship...has really had much more influence over my persona than I'd like to admit. our partners hold a not always tangible but quite effective power over us and vice versa, of course.
didn't I only a few months ago despise the idea of having a house? all the extra work, extra costs, and the whole commuting thing... I hate commuting...at least, when there is traffic...and let's face it ...there is always f'ing traffic. why am I so eager to leave the city to start my conservative life.... family with house, two kids and two cars.... I'm 30 years old...am I supposed to be doing this sh*t already? I'll be "old" in two seconds....
and what makes me think that Dario will suddenly change his habits and become super-husband ...or at least traditional-husband, who comes home after work to continue working on and around the house (as opposed to playing videogames online for the rest of the evening ..... can you tell I'm a bit sensitive on the subject at the moment).
It took Dario about a year to put up the curtain rods. The ceiling fan still isn't assembled (and we've moved in 2 years ago)....and just in general - any request I have takes him about 4-52 weeks (on average) to complete. And God forbid, I try to take things into my own hands. For example, the picture shelves I finally put up by the entrance wall. I had been waiting for months and so one day I said "f-it. I'm goin' in". The next day, I catch Dario reinstalling the shelves behind my back. Apparently, I didn't use the level or something.

anyway, I'm just bitching to bitch tonight.
I really just want to go out and get stoned (now that I FINALLY can -> not nursing, not pregnant, free free free:) but none of my friends are to be found. I was just gonna rollerblade around the block but then Dario decided he needed to finally go visit his mother (after many weeks of not doing so).....thus, I am now stuck at home....the usual.
Time to put Maia to sleep. She's a cute one, though. I ought to write down the things she says nowadays.
...later.