mama goes clubbing

so I went out to the Supper Club the other night..with Rosa, my very good friend Nadine and two of her girlfriends. I have been to all black clubs before(in fact, that's usually my kind of thing) but I think this was the first time that I was the only white girl in the place. Try not to be self-conscious about that. In addition to me paling in the shadow of my girlfriends I wasn't exactly dressed too stylishly. While everyone around me seemed to be wearing glittery shirts, jewelry and pumps, I couldn't find anything else in my closet than a combination of clothes which made me look like I'm heading to the beach and didn't want to mess up the good skirt. Good thing I started drinking, so this wasn't anything one drink couldn't fix (for those of you who don't know me...I never ever drank any alcohol until about a year ago). One diluted Pineapple Malibu, a couple of anonymous gropings later and I felt much better about myself. I remember the days when I used to swing at anyone who even tried to touch me without permission. After 10 years with the same man these days are over. ;) Now, someone touches me and I'm like "mhm...look I've been touched by ANOTHER man! :D." You go for the ass or the boobs (which really doesn't happen) I still will pop you in the eye, of course, but I've become much more lenient. After all, it looks like that's all I'm gonna get...since I find myself unable to cheat. But let's see...there is always room for growth. ;)

So, after a while I loosened up and started shakin' that booty (i.e. danced some..or lots).
When I finally took a break and sat down on the stairs around the dance floor, some guy holds his blackberry in front of me.
I: "what?"
he: "your number is missing."
I: "ah..of course. ..and what is your name?"
he: "Tony."
I: "Tony, there are two reasons I can't put my number in your phone.
1.) You are wayy too young for me. You are like a baby-boy."
he: "I'm 30 years old."
I: "no, you're not!"
he: "yes, I am"
I:"no, you're not."
he: "yes, I am."
I: "lemme see some i.d."
He pulls out his i.d. and it turns out he really is 30 years old. It also turns out that his name isn't Tony, it's Bruce.
I: "ehm,...Tony....if you are giving me your id you should probably try to remember that this will reveal the fact that you're lying about your name. Not a good way to start out."
he: "I was gonna give you my real name, if we would have started talking over the phone."
I: "if you're gonna pick a false name, at least pick something less corny. Tony....that's a bad player's name."
he: "...really? ...then.... Tyrone maybe?"
I:"ehww... no. worse. ...maybe something like Troy. That's a cool name."
he: (pondering) "Troy. ...like the movie."
I: "...ya ...the movie... (sigh)"
he: "so, can I have your number."
I: "no. and here goes reason number 2 (I should have probably prioritized differently;) : I'm married."
he: (pause) "I'm married, too."
I: "And you're rappin' to me? I should slap you upside down the head on behalf of your wife."
he: "hey, you're rappin' back."
I: (thinking: I think, I am.) saying: "no, I'm just responding to you as not to be rude."
he: "mhmm........ so can I have your number.... we could just be friends."
I: "yeah, right. ...thanks, but I have enough friends. And I'm sure your wife wouldn't appreciate me very much."
he: "I'm not really married. I just switched my ring over to this finger."
I: "I didn't want to say anything...but your ring looks like a pimp's ring...all flashy like that."
he: "ok, I'm going to try one more time...cuz I really enjoy talking to you. can I please have your number."
I: "ehm, no. ...besides our relationship already lacks in trust big time ;) ."
he: (sighs)
to which I gave him a big smile good-bye and made my way back to the dancefloor.

Unfortunately, the DJs of the night were quite annoying. They just couldn't shut up. Not a single song did they let play without them interrupting every 5 seconds (and I am NOT exxagerating here). As the night went on, they became more and more daring and at the end they were just playing songs like "lick that p*ssy, lick that cr*ck" ...and telling guys to shout out if any women "ever did some stupid sh*t" to them and "you just wanted to beat her up" to which they then played some song which had a chorus going something like this "f*ck that trick. f*ck that trick".
I was in shock that women were still dancing to this completely disrespectful sh*t. I mean, I like rap and hiphop, so I obviously can take a fair share of women-bashing, but there are some limits, no? At one point, I just can't take it with humour anymore. Were is your self-respect, ladies?
Speaking of which, ... what is happening to the FCC regulations? Not that I am a supporter but it's all kind of weird. This morning I'm driving in to work, my car-radio tuned to 105.1 (Rap, HipHop, R&B), and a commercial for some event comes on that ends with the sentence: "Get your a** over there ni**er" (hmm, how do I bleep out the word 'nigger'...shit, now I wrote it down...I just hate that word...and I'm not even black.... so I'm thinking...if I -- non-black, maybe still a bit old-fashioned -- take offense in this commercial, then what about every black person my age or older? ...well, I'm gonna ask some of my friends what they think...I'm curious.)