Sunday, January 30, 2005

don't talk to strangers....(the continuation of my lost cellphone story)

A few posts ago I mentioned how I had lost my cellphone and how I was going to meet this guy Jose and his friend to supposedly get it back.
So we had agreed to seven o'clock at the bus-stop (stupid idea, by the way, if you are meeting someone you don't know, for surrounded by dozens of people you don't know). I didn't make it until about 7.30 and the results of my unpunctuality should teach me a lesson never to be late again.
So, there I stand... waiting. I call Dario, who tells me Jose just called to tell me he's a few blocks away or something like that (at this point, another note to myself: don't trust Dario's messages. There are always very vital parts missing.)
So I wait and wait and suddenly this guy steps next to me. So close, he's almost touching me. He pulls out a phone and starts dialing a number.
"Jose," I think... "or maybe his friend"... and stupid (i.e. not very "streetsmart") as I am I ask him directly: Are you Jose?
I should have been able to tell by the liquor in his breath, or by his smirk when he said yes, or by the way he aggressively tried to come on to me in the following conversation but I didn't trust my instincts, given to all of us (for GOOD REASONS!) through our genetic make-up.
So, when he after minutes of me moving away from him while we were talking still didn't get the message, I just hit him. Well, actually I sort of pushed him back on his chest and told him to step back already.
I can't believe you just hit me, he said readjusting the puffiness of his down-jacket.
I'm gonna hit you somewhere else if you don't stay back, I said.
Can you now please focus and tell me where Jose is?" I asked to which he answered under his breath,"oh, my dick is so hard right now."
"oookayy. I think I have to go now." I said stepping away quickly.
"f*** the phone" I thought and to the crazy dude I said "I'll be back. Just tell Jose to call me when he gets here."
Unfortunately, he didn't follow the distractive instruction of staying put.
"let me walk you!" he exclaimed.
"no, no that's ok." I said "you stay here in case Jose gets here. I'll be right back. Just have to go feed my kid." after which I began jogging away (don't run from dogs, they'll start chasing you, I thought).
My car was only a few hundred feet away and I didn't want him to see me getting into it.
Unfortunately, he must have been right behind me, for when I got into the van and THANK GOD locked the doors immediately (9 years in NYC...at least I learned something), he was already knocking on the passenger side window.
Still pretending everything was ok and dandy (as not to get him started) I opened the window a little.
-Can I get a ride? he asked.
-Are you f**ing crazy? I replied.
-Whyy?
-First of all I am a woman - alone in a van with tinted windows. Second, after what you just said I'd prefer to get away from you a.s.a.p.
-Oh. you heard that?
- Oh. yes.
- You know what it is.... I just popped a viagra pill. That gets you horny as shit.
- You took a viagra pill? How old are you?? I asked, trying to keep the conversation light since my car was blocked by a bus next to me.
- I'm twenty-seven.
- No, you're not, I said in disbelieve, you look more like you're in your early twenties.
- No, I'm twenty-seven. ...
- So why the hell are you taking viagra? Isn't that screwing with your system. (and hopefully it will screw with it right now so you can drop to the ground and leave me alone, I thought.)
- nah. it's great. you can fuck for like 3 hours straight.
- oh. that's nice to know. good for you. (f**ing bus, move already).
- so, can I get a ride please. it's just up the hill. to my boy's house.
- eh. I DON'T THINK SO." I said with a big smile, to which he replied with pushing his arm through the window to reach the unlock-button for the door.
At this point, I just pulled out of the parking spot. Thankfully, the bus had just begun moving and I didn't hit it.
I cursed all the way back up to my house.
Stupid phone. Stupid me. Stupid Jose. ...

I was just gonna let it go but a few days later I stumbled over Jose's number on my caller i.d. and decided to call him after all to tell him how disappointed I was in him and this act of sending his stupid potentially raping ghetto friend.

When I confronted him, though, he didn't know what I was talking about.
What the fuck are you talking about? You're trippin'. We were supposed to meet at 7. You called my voicemail at 7:30 so I called your house to say I'll check if my friend is still around and then I'd be there soon. and when my boy didn't answer his phone I called your house back to say I'm not coming.
- you did? I asked. (and I'm gonna kill Dario to myself).
After me telling him the story Jose asked me what this guy looked like.
- dunno I said, early twenties ... puerto-rican maybe.
- my friend is a 200 lbs white ni**a, he said.
white n... I thought. wow, how the language has traveled. ....
To prove his innocence to me he insisted on calling his friend (who still had my phone) on a conference call at this very minute.
Once you hear his voice you should know if this is who you met or not, J said.

So, it turned out I addressed a complete stranger at the busstop. But it couldn't be just any stranger. It had to be the one who was drunk, feisty, ghetto, and high on viagra.

;) I really ought to stop being so stupid.



sex and the city... and important notes on the recipe for life

first of all, for all these years I thought it's sex IN the city....but whatever, doesn't matter (also, I just said "all" twice in one sentence and maybe I shouldn't start writing blogs at 3 o'clock in the morning.

anyway, so they finally released sex in...wait AND the city on DVD and since my broke ass can't afford HBO everyone around me had to keep their mouths shut for months about the ending of the series. Of course, I didn't anticipate that it would take that long for it to appear on DVD, so now I am completely old news and nobody will want to discuss that ending with me.
oh well.

but watching the last four episodes tonight (yes, I watched them all in a row) brought me back to a more timeless realization I just had yesterday. Well, it was less of a realization but a motivated thought. Friends of mine (John and Carla) reminded me of something that I forgot and I am infintely grateful to have been reminded of.
You have to preserve your identity at all costs. Don't lose yourself.
Also, and this I am writing down more for myself... as a reminder:
Your job isn't who you are. It doesn't matter what benefits it has, how secure it is, whatever,... you don't want to wake up one day and realize you're dead inside, for you have let go of every passion you ever had in life.
I have already lost so much. I cannot play the piano anymore and for me this is an immense void. I haven't taken my camera into the streets for years. And I have not picked up a brush in ages.
Work is not your life.
Happiness is priceless.

Dare to quit. Dare to make changes.
Of course, I have two kids, so I can't quit ... but I'm gonna drop that unnaturally straight work-ethic and hopefully someone will fire me one day and I'll get to do what I really want to do.
Someone needs to push me over that plank.
Ahh, I'm so full of shit.
But I'm working on it.

PS: Maia (who just turned 3) watched her first movie today. It was "Cinderella". I tried to talk her into Peter Pan, Lion King, or something I might enjoy, as well but she wanted to watch something with a "princess" and so we had to watch that rattely old Cinderella tape.
Wasn't too bad actually. Cute thing was that Maia asked me about half way into the movie if she could talk to "that lady".
- "what lady?" I asked
- "that lady."
-"the evil one?"
- "yes."
- "well, what would you like to tell her, honey?"
- "ehm...I, I wanna tell her not to be so.....so angry." ...and then to the TV she goes, "excuse me, excuuuse me. ... don't be so mean, please."

it was too cute ;)





Sunday, January 09, 2005

bad spelling

---------- kelly writes Date: Thu, 6 Jan 2005 00:46:23 EST
>hi,
i'll be on campus tomorrow thurs 1/6 around noonish
> call me on my cell and maybe we could do lunch
>kelly

---my reply:
good thing I'm reading this mail on time... sigh. it's friday. :/... LET ME KNOW when you're on campus again! although ..at the moment I am working from home, mostly. ;) anyway. it's been too long.
s.

--kelly writes : Fri, 7 Jan 2005 23:07:06 EST>

>oh fuck you...
>i hate friends with kids only worse than those with kids and jobs....
> too much of disappointment and pain in the ass.
>>love ya,
>>kelly
>>p.s. there is always the hope of a boarding school future, but perhaps i'm too optimistic as usual.
>>by the way i'm auditing a class on neichitz with papas, luckily he doesnt want to read my shit (no papers) >>so it's all the joy and none of the anguish...
>what are you doing tues and thrus at 2pm>let me know>

hey. this sounds like a great idea.what's the class's number...so I can look it up (course description)...neichitz??
you don't mean nietzsche, do you? ... shit I'm not even sure if I spelled it right myself. if it is a class on that dude we should probably figure out how to spell his name... ;) ...
hmm. been a while since I read any Nietzsche ..but I think I didn't like him.
anyway ->auditing class. best idea on improving my hectic life I've heard in a long time. (this sentence sounds grammatically wrong but I am too tired to figure out why. good nite. I'm beat.)
s.
PS: boarding school - good idea. how old do they have to be before I can send them? ;)

Friday, January 07, 2005

(post x-mas) trivial knowledge

a forward from my friend zoya:

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. However female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.